How to Develop Video Games With No Skill or Talent

 


You’ve been playing video games all your life but you’re getting sick and tired of how boring it’s all become. You’ve noticed there are only 5 types of AAA games that get made over and over again. You’ve decided it’s time to rock the boat and present the world with something new. The one problem getting in the way of your revolution, and a huge payday? You have no skill or talent…

First off, don’t worry about that, you won’t need it. Skill and talent is for idiots. Secondly, you’re gonna need some of those idiots to do most of the hard work for you, so stop calling them idiots.

Let’s start by looking at one of our beloved movie directors. You think Michael Bay is out there with the camera, getting people in makeup, working on CGI models or other tasks that require skill? Is he heck! He’s out back with a latte and a string of models, some there willingly. Sure, he’s calling the shots but he has no skill or talent. That’s the position you need to be in.

You just need to start with an idea. Trouble is you can’t move for ideas in the indie game space, they are everywhere. Hey! Who left this idea here! You’re going to have to come up with a really good idea. Doing so with no skill or talent can be tricky but it is possible.

Let’s take another look at successful movie producer Michael Bay. Famously, Bay comes up with his ideas on the toilet. He’s come up with more ideas on that throne of his than I’ve had hot dinners, and I’ve had over 13,000 hot dinners. They aren’t good ideas but he has found huge success digesting other people’s great ideas and turning them into shit. That has clearly been a very good idea as he is insanely rich with a proven track record, I think we are all looking forward to Transformers 15 next summer.

How is any of this supposed to help me, you’re probably asking.

You think you can’t just take an existing idea and plop out your own version of it for financial gain? Sure, Mr Bay still keeps the franchise’s name but you don’t have to, in fact I recommend changing the name to avoid a lawsuit, how Mr Bay avoids this I do not know.

I’ll show you how easy this is.

Player Unknown’s Battlegrounds is popular right now so we can probably do something with that. How about instead of last man standing it’s the first man killed who wins the round? No one will want to loot a weapon in case they accidently kill somebody. Perhaps players can work together to rebuild society instead of all this wanton bloodshed. We’ll call it Friendlygrounds and fill it with friendly micro transactions. Smiles for $1.

Right, that’s the concept set in stone, well done. Grab yourself a latte cause now the real work starts.

Type into Google ‘starving developers’. Yeah, I know there’s a lot of results but you should be able to find what you’re looking for. You can also look locally at you nearest food bank. They can usually be spotted by their beard, glasses and pale, translucent skin. The freelance work hasn’t been as flowy as they would have liked, as such they will probably work 70 hour weeks on your game in exchange for 3-4 boxes of Findus Crispy Pancakes. The artist has probably had his gas cut off so you might have to heat his up for him. You can probably make a game like Battlegrounds with 2 or 3 people so it shouldn’t be too hard putting together a small team.

And, that’s pretty much all there is to it.

You’ve got your team, you’ve told them what to do, give them a bit of time (1-2 months) and then go grab your umbrella cause it’s about to start raining, big time. Rain = Money.


Thanks for reading. I hope this information can in some way help. It helped me and I’ve made over $7 in donations over the past few years alone from the games I’ve made with no skill or talent.

Disclaimer: This article is a load of nonsense and serves no educational purpose.

Read my other guides for success

How To Develop Games With A Full Time Job. 8 Tips for Success!

How To Create Games in a Satellite Team – 10 Tips for Success!

 

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